Having read an encounter with JWs by quility
, I've decided to share one of my experiences. It's from a book I wrote (scheduled for e-pub end of May). Let me know if you are interested in getting a free copy!
Door-to-Door Missionary Snippet
One afternoon, I was editing the notes I'd made on insights into the evolution of all life on Earth from single cell organisms when the front doorbell rang. I opened the door and there on my front step were two clean-shaven men in their early twenties. They wore black pants, white shirts, black ties. They even had matching bicycles and helmets. I came to the natural conclusion - they were collecting donations to fund the local Gay Pride parade.
Imagine my surprise when the tall one asked, "Have you found Jesus?" Considering how many times I've been asked that question over the past thirty years, Jesus must be a better escape artist than Houdini. I asked the obvious question, "Long hair, beard, wears a dress, looks Jewish?"
"Jesus is our lord and savior," the tall one continued.
"You guys are the worst bodyguards, ever. Have you considered a micro chip? It's implanted between the shoulder blades. Each of my dogs have one."
Undaunted, he pressed on. "Jesus died to wash away your sins."
"He's dead? You lost a dead guy? It's not like he can get up and walk away." Then it hit me. There were looking for a zombie.
The short one took advantage of the tall one's confusion. "Have you read the Bible?" He asked.
Their timing was amazing. "I was just working on MY BIBLE," I said in reference to the book you are holding. "Which of your Bible's creation stories do you believe?"
"God created the universe and everything in it in six days." the tall one stated.
The creation story, as told to me by the Universe, made perfectly logical sense. Their story was fantasy based on ignorance and superstition.
"The Bible is the exact word of God," the short one added. "There is only one account of the creation of the universe."
I laughed like a Giddy Hen at their lack of familiarity with their own sacred text. It was appalling.
"Then your God is a bit schizophrenic. He cannot decide whether he created the animals male and female, culminating on day six in the creation of humans male and female as stated in Genesis, Chapter One. Or, created Adam, then a bunch of animals that turned out to be unsuitable companions, and finally Eve as stated in Genesis, Chapter Two."
The tall one opened and closed his mouth several times while the short one blinked S-O-S.
I had been considering what to call the organization that would help me spread the TRUTH about evolution, Star People, and how the we should live our lives. At that moment, I decided upon GIDDY HEN SOCIETY.